A festivus for the rest of us!

Who knew this country was into Festivus?! The aluminum pole, the feats of strength, the airing of grievances. Anyone... anyone... Bueller? Probably only a few diehards got that one. If you didn’t, google it and study up.

To be honest, I’d actually forgotten it was the holidays. Christmas here just isn’t the hoopla that I expected from such a religious country. Or maybe it’s just cause I’m out in the campo and celebrations here are just more subdued. For starters, they celebrate xmas on the 24th, and pretty much don't do anything out of the ordinary. They cook up a chicken, eat a big lunch, stay up late shooting off fireworks and don't even give gifts. Man that was a nice contrast from the typical production up north. Sorry, but you already knew I was a cynic. It was refreshing and the definition of stress free.

So on the 24th, instead of eating lunch leftovers for dinner with my neighbors/host family, I surprised an 82 year old woman in my community whose house I always pass by and who invites me (constantly!) to hang out with her. I never have time and I always feel crazy guilty. But I frickin made some time. It was xmas after all.

So I went and surprised her. Not literally... should would have died, so old and feeble is she. Joking. Sort of. So there we were, hanging out in her smokey kitchen, me showing her I got skills and can tortillar, and her just sort of sitting there rambling, which is what old people do out in the campo. The catch was I literally can’t understand a single word she says. It's a combination of missing teeth and her being really, really old. So I just sat there as she talked, eating chicken stew, downing tortillas with salt and lime, and nodding every once in a while to give her the impression that meaningful understanding was going on inside my head. At one point, I actually just started laughing at the situation I was in. And then she started laughing too. Good times.

Then on xmas day, everyone just chills in the community and enjoys a day off. No presents. No tree. They eat leftovers and just sort of hang out.

I was all set to do the same, but my diputado buddy called me (the equivalent of a congressman) and told me to grab my boots cause he'd be there in 15 minutes. And before I knew it, I was bouncing around in the back of a pickup truck, bombing up a rocky, dusty road on my way up Montecristo, the nearby 8,000 footer I live at the base of. About two hours later, I was walking around pine forests, clean air and enjoying life without burning trash piles.

It was only a day trip with his family, so we didn’t get to summit, but just hanging out there was well worth the trip. This is the view from one of the miradors, or lookout towers. Nice huh?



Gabe dicking around on said mirador.



Then two days later, ass still bruised from the last trip, I found myself once again bouncing around in the back of a pickup climbing up into Montecristo. My buddy Mario and his wife Jenny invited me on their annual family trip and what am I gonna say no?! Course not. So I tagged along with about 40 of their friends and family (understatement of the year: families are BIG here).

Sidenote: Mario and Jenny are quickly on their way to achieving awesome friend status. Jenny is my age and super sweet. Mario is a few years older and a cool dude. More importantly, he's a normal guy! Sounds stupid, but they're rare. Ex. He doesn’t sit at the kitchen table ordering his wife to bring him another tortilla, doesn’t raise his voice for no reason, doesn’t down guaro and stumble around with his shirt off. Just a chill, chill guy. You guys would love him. Always refreshing visiting them.

Anyway, camping. Honestly, compared to the backwoods camping we've done back home, it was a bit of a letdown. But that’s just cause we’ve been spoiled by the Appalachian Trail, Montana, Hawaii, the Atacama Desert in Chile, smores in my backyard, etc. We're just used to kickass bonfires and total seclusion. But since El Sal is so damn deforested, the country goes out of its way to protect their little slice of untouched wilderness, ie, no huge Steve-style bonfires. Sad. But the views were incredible. And I just felt this wave of happiness and comfort hit me, like I was back in my element. Picture Gabe lying in the middle of a field, shivering, staring at the stars for hours. Happiness.

Here's a couple pics of when someone got the incredibly awesome idea to go for a latenight swim in the river. Air temperature: 45 degrees. Water temperature: 20 below zero. Bad idea. Forced smiles... but I'd do it again in a second.

And on the way back, Mario bombed down the mountain roads in his beat up suzuki pickup car thing. Need to take a picture of this pint-sized beast, but it sorta looks like a pickup that got crushed in the middle of a 20 car pileup and now would be dwarfed by a mini cooper. Plus this thing is so beat up it honestly looks like a wheel could go at any minute. But the little guy, which I named the torito rojo, is tougher than he looks. To give you a taste of what it was like, I posted a video...

There's so much more I want to cover. And it's been almost two month since I’ve posted anything. I suck, I know. Maybe I'll just try to give you a quick rundown of what I’ve been up to:

Turkey day

... started off bad, but ended pretty good. If you’re all getting sick of hearing about stoves, then skip ahead...

Anyway, my pueblo's mayor hooked us up with free transport for our stoves again but the catch this time was we had to leave at the asscrack of dawn. I'm talking 4 am people.

So now picture Gabe, crammed in the cabin of a big rig flying down the highway towards the coast, half asleep, half deliriously happy that he can check off something new on his life list, but also trying really hard not to think about the fact that he’s lying on the truck driver’s mystery mattress in the back of the cabin. Nice.

Anyway, that trip the other PCVs and I hauled over 150 stoves for our communities, so it was productive. But it took forever and I had to scrap plans to meet up with friends out east for turkey day. But I did make it into the capital, met a dude at a hostel who taught me thai, and treated me to KFC, including an entire family meal. I'll say it again. An entire frickin family meal. Did it in the spirit of good ole american overeating. I think it was something like 149 pieces of chicken and a comically large vat of mashed potatoes. Ug.

But, official weigh in at the PC med office the next day... survey says... 178 pounds. With clothes and flip flops. I’m lean and mean. Cough.

Carnival

Then a few days later, I took off for Carnival in San Miguel. Btw, who knew El Sal was home to the second largest Carnival in the world behind Brazil?!!! Somebody please fact check that. But be warned, Carnival in El Sal... not so much fireworks and girls dancing in crazy caribbean outfits. More of a citywide street party/mosh pit/lame parade. Here’s the final tally from the night:

Hours it took me to get there from my site: 8
Number of street french fries purchased: 3
Number of times pickpocketed: 2... as far as I know

Fantasy Football

And to wrap up, guess who won his Fantasy Football league... for the second year in a row? This guy. Nice job, Gabe. Who gives a flying f, right? Well in addition to the bragging rights and devastating blow to my friends' egos of losing to a PCV checking his email and fantasy picks once a week, if that, I won 160 bucks. Kind of nuts that that's more than half my monthly salary!

Now I’m having fun thinking of all the things I could do with the cash. Bungie jumping? Hang gliding? Deep sea fishing? Buy a horse? I’ll be sure to let you know...